The Invisible Church Split - Part I

There is crack, a crevice almost, through many local church bodies. It splits a single congregation into two, without even the cost of a new building. While not terribly financially wasteful in most cases, it is a fissure that is always very costly.

 imagecred: richardwintle via AventuresInWonderland

The division of which I speak of is in age: the old from the young/the young from the old. We're going to take this slow and really unpack the issue. My goal is to deal with how I personally see it manifested globally and locally. (I would love to hear your personal observations as well!) I'd then like to look at the consequences on the mission of the gospel both worldwide and regionally. And thirdly, we'll go over some things each of us can do to make a difference where we are. (Hopefully I can keep myself from proposing giant generalizations that are unrealistic such as "if we'd all just...work at it!") 

What Division

I recently discussed this issue with a Spiritual leader of mine. When I hinted at the line down the middle of the room in one particular situation she looked at me with such a cluelessness that I laughed! She hadn't noticed it until I pointed it out, partly because she isn't part of the problem so she couldn't imagine young and old Christians treating each other as if they're aliens to be held at a safe distance!

In The Local Church

I'm sure there are many ways in which it appears in individual bodies, but here are things that I've observed in my own and other congregations. This is one issue on which I'd LOVE to receive e-mails/comments from you describing what you see.

• Lack of discipleship among believers of different generations: I know you've heard from me before on this issue, but it's the first one that comes to mind. If we weren't so afraid of each other (of judgement and approval, of vulnerability, of what we might have to say to each other...) or making our minds up without giving the other a chance, we could all learn a ton!(Titus 2:1-8)
• Lack of fellowship (inter-generational relationships): Plain and simple: we're not friends. This is not a rule, but for the most part I don't see a lot of 40+ or 50+ couples chillin' with the newlyweds, college age and high school students. Within the church, we are all equal in this: we we're outside, condemned to eternal seperation from our Creator and we have all been brought near through the Redeeming blood of Christ. Something about "those young'ns" and "those old fogies" makes us act as if we are different kinds of Christians. (Prov 27:9, Rom 3:21-25)
• Literal church splits and/or migrations: This is not an ingenious epiphany. Many have noted the increase in young people planting their own churches and leaving the grey-haired behind in a congregation with no long-term future. Young people reject the wisdom of those who've been around the block and so many experienced believers stand on non-Biblical convictions and "the way things are". Eventually someone says, "Fine, we'll just go do it our way."(Prov 16:31; 20:29)
• The physical line: Show up to your local worship service, maybe even Bible study or small group and the chances are you find this. It may appear as a line down the middle of the room, certain areas or rows that have an unspoken weekly reservation or maybe just large generationally discriminant pockets/groups. I have to be very open and honest with this one. This doesn't happen quite so much in our worship services, although everyone has "their spot" and in a rural community I think they pretty much get passed down in the will! However, I do attend a multi-generational Bible study where there has been some finger-pointing at "you young people" based on purely extra-Biblical convictions. One time I happened to sit next to another young mother who sensed my frustration simply because my body stiffened at the conversation going on around us. I (working on being slow to speak) knew I couldn't address the issue right then without overreacting in passion. She jumped in and said exactly what I wished I could have without blowing a fuse. I really appreciated her support and so I naturally migrated to the seat next to her around the table weekly. Slowly, everyone under 40 migrated to that side of the circle leaving everyone else to their own side. It was never intentional but I knew exactly what had happened.
• Failing programs: Without the wisdom of plenty of mature Christians of all ages AND the attendance of Christians (and unsaved in some cases) who have plenty to learn, also of all ages: well intended programs, classes and services die. You probably already know how I feel about cookie-cutter programs, but when people serve in the manner their community needs, people come to know the Lord and grow to be more like Him. This requires breaking generational gaps to be completely effective. Otherwise, we are severely limiting the amount of discipleship that could be happening.

These are just a few of the things that came to my mind as I write. Like I said, I'm sure there are more (maybe even obvious ones that I'm missing like my dear friends missed our physical line in Bible study).

Very soon we'll discuss the effects and some possible solutions. In the mean time, I look forward to hearing from you on what you see!

Do you notice any age separation in the church? If so, please share!

The Shepherd and the Sheep; Who's Failing Who?

Have you ever moved? As an adult, has your career or other circumstance ever required you to pack up and start over somewhere else? My husband and I bought another house (in the same city as our old house) last year. Being a military brat, it was my first household move without a (paid-for) truck full of guys who come and stuff your junk into boxes, load it on a truck and reverse the process at the other end. I look back and chuckle, but it was mildly traumatic for me when my well-meaning father-in-law unexpectedly backed his truck up to my house and announced that he and his employees were there to help.

Well, here we ago again.

My husband and I are in the middle of an interesting transition (which you can read about here) to another church. I have to mention that this isn't just any church, it's the church I grew up in (or the closest thing to it for a moving military kid). One of the many (many, many) things on my mind through this whole process is the "career" of pastor. I've written about the responsibilities of the pastor before, but the way the job plays out in the life of todays clergymen (and women) and in our culture gives rise to concerns in my insides.

Several years ago, when my husband was offered the job as youth pastor at our current church, one of his mentors told him (who knows where he got this stat) that the average youth pastor stays at a church for only three years. That's not even long enough to see the freshmen graduate much less mentor junior high students successfully into adulthood. Nic and I have always been appalled by the frequent church-hopping that happens in our city, but pastors only staying for three years?

Nic and I have always considered ourselves "lifers" - we assume that we will be at the church God has brought us to for life unless God very clearly tells us otherwise. Attendance in any given body of believers should be considered carefully and faithfully. If conflict arises, resolve it. If sin arises, deal with it in grace and repentance. If you're "not happy with" some of the goings on, you remind yourself that church isn't about you and do what you think you need to to ensure that Jesus' body is honoring Him. I don't say this from a position of a perfect track-record, but I do say it from experience.

While the average Western Christian's view on commitment to a particular church is saddening, the cultural effect on the Western Pastor is even more disheartening. With the development of denominational networks and church job websites, a seminary graduate can climb the ladder in no time. Wait. What?

Therein lies our problem. Let's play a little fill in the blanks game here... Most young people graduate from Bible School and make their ___ (5, 10, 20) year career plan. [problem #1: needing a plan. As Francis Chan puts it, God didn't give Abraham a 5 year, much less a 20 year plan when he told him to pack up and move to a new land and that he'd become the father of nations.] Said student might think to themselves, I'll put applications in to be a/an ________ (children's, worship, youth, associate, small groups, interim, other?) pastor at a _________ (smaller, rural, less known, average, springboard) type church. [problems #2 & #3: The position and body one serves in cannot be seen as mere stepping stones on the path to career success] After I get some experience under my belt, I'll start looking at ______ (bigger, cooler, more trendy, more relevant, more Biblical, well-known, higher-paying) churches or a/an ______ (preaching pastor, head pastor, evangelist, traveling speaker) job that I really want. [problem #4: a pastor seriously wrongs their sheep when he even subconsciously considers them a bullet point on his resumé.]

First of all, pastoring is a calling. And no body of believers is a mere springboard for one person's career success. If a pastor doesn't think he is called to minister to young people, why would he think he has the right to take a job doing just that "in the meantime"? Doing a job God didn't design you for seems like a really quick way to get burnt out fast to me! Similarly, I find it interesting that exponentially more pastors are apparently "called" to wealthier and urban churches. If we measure by the number of clergy and their calling, it would appear that God cares very little about the communities and churches in less-hip or poorer areas. Thankfully, the Bible shows us that God's heart is for the marginalized. In fact, most of Jesus' ministry on this earth was focused on the blue-collar, poor and marginalized. It looks to me as if we need to reevaluate the term calling.

Secondly, I think we have shorted both pastors and congregations in the way we have defined their roles. Burn out often happens when a pastor doesn't pastor his family. This is his first ministry. Every pastor's wife and child knows their are time when we have to wait. But ensuring that he has time to spiritually attend to his family is the duty of the pastor. So where does the congregation fit it? Expectations. A church should expect their pastor to take time for his family in order for him to qualify to be their minister (see 1 Tim 2). Their expectations of him should be his best in home and ministry and the give-and-take (aka hard work and grace) that this entails. Also, the congregation should be expected to do their part. A great many pastors and youth pastors tucker out because they run like mad trying to fulfill all of the duties of the church. Instead, each believer should serve and grow in the unique gifts that God has given them. When we all pitch in, a pastor can help us grow (his job as shepherd) and ensure that we (the church as a whole) function to glorify God and further His Kingdom. (Eph 4 & 5, Rom 12, 1 Cor 12)

So now I ask you...how do you view commitment to a church? Why do you think Pastors move to new jobs (in or out of ministry) so quickly?

I Am A Whore I Do Confess (Games Optional)

Yesterday I was thinking about situations within the congregation in which I serve. I was thinking about how many people have betrayed or degraded me when all I'm trying to do is tell people about Jesus and glorify God. They don't understand how much I care for the Church. They don't understand that all I want is Jesus and all I want for their kids is Jesus. That's why I do what I do...The thought popped into my head something like this:

"I'm tired of fighting for people who just keep taking from me." And right at that moment, Jesus reminded me (once again) that that is exactly what He did for me, through torture and to death. I, given the choice, am a traitor, a denier and a failure, and knowing that, He died for me. It brings a whole new meaning to "while we were yet sinners Christ died for us" and the second half of "forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors."

So, every week I spend hours praying, studying and teaching for students, most of whose parents and fellow church-goers would trade us in (if they haven't tried already) for a less-pierced middle-aged couple who will play lots of games and acquire a budget from the board to bring in huge bands and conferences. I'm sure I don't need to tell you, of course, how all of this would have minimal, if any, eternal value and that God's Word and His redemption require no make-over.

He is glorious. (on His own)
He is good. (and sovereign)
And He is willing, that none should perish; even us adulterous people whom he constantly has to remind that He has bought with His life.

Go into all the world and preach the good news, making disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit.
(games, pretty logos, etc optional)

Dear Daughters of Eve,

My spirit is grieved and my heart is heavy.

Where do I start?

The place that I fellowship has plenty of good things going on. My favorite is the mens group. I obviously haven't attended it, but by it's fruit I know great things are happening! It started as a small group and began to grow almost uncontrollably. Somehow it has maintained the same atmosphere and accountability as it did when it was a fraction of the size. They have seen multiple marriages restored, souls saved and best of all their leaders teach the Word with boldness.

The "womens ministry" on the other hand, consists of a few separate groups meeting through out the week. Three out of four have had an issue of doctrinal inconsistencies within their leaders' teaching. Invitation to one of those groups is almost like being recruited for a pyramid scheme. It's as if the women afraid that if they don't get you another group will. Two out of four choose to go through book studies and have hit a very low plateau regarding the depth of their Biblical knowledge. To summarize, scripture is not being studied the way it should and healthy relationships are DEFINITELY not growing.

So why such a vast difference? Honestly, I'm still churning it all around in my brain. So far, this is what I've come up with,

1. Insecurities.
2. Insecurities.
3. Pride
4. Insecurities.
5. Selfish Ambition

When women don't embrace the person God has made them to be and the role He's asked them to fill, they get uncomfortable. And rightly so! Unfortunately they don't use that itch to spur them on to better things. Instead they begin to compare themselves to other women. This can lead to tearing each other down through gossip and so many other malicious female activities this world often glamorizes. Pride somehow stops us from serving in the areas God has gifted us to serve in, the places we would succeed. I want to know how the female brain (my own included) rationalizes this; "I'd benefit the kingdom greatly by doing this, but it's just not really what I had pictured. I'm sure God won't mind if I slip into this leadership role instead." Does it really require more faith to do what He made us to do rather then attempt something He didn't? It shouldn't, but what it does generally require is humility and submission. Ick, nasty little words.

When we stop consulting God for our next step, we can no longer assume we're on board with His vision. And that point, we have to take it upon ourselves to ensure that the program is a hit Que the feeling of competition, its her turn. Making a plan (asking God to bless it as a side note) and then relying on our own efforts to make it work forces us to compete with others for attendance, coolness and even spiritual growth. After all, failure is not an option, because that would be humiliating.

One of these days, I pray that women all over, but specifically the women in my congregation will stop attempting to fill roles they aren't supposed to (those of men, people with other gifts and those occupied just for the sake of doing good stuff) I pray that they will serve and attend to strengthen and purify the body. They will not seek validation from their situation within the Body because they will feel confident in the love of their Father and Maker. If the women of God in my community (and everywhere) would begin to humbly approach the Throne for their assignments and band together as a big beautiful army of graceful, unique, individual soldiers...I'm emotional as words fail to adequately describe the devastation the enemy would experience.

Mondays With Margaret: Practicing the Art of Listening

...as I practice the art of listening to God, I am discovering that he is surprisingly talkative even in the silence. Prayers are not going unanswered as much as he is responding in unexpected ways. Listening to God's voice requires more than just my ears; it requires my eyes, my mind, my spirit, my entire being to recognize the God-nudges in life.

-Margaret Feinberg in her book The Organic God

Oh how I wish this were an easier lesson to learn! I pray and wait for God to answer; I try to use my spirit and my mind to listen. But one of the statements that most catches my eye (and my heart) in this passage is the challenge to listen with my eyes. How often does God show us the answers to our questions by lining things up (opportunities, people, even trials) around us?! In my life, I have seen this play out over and over. One day I'll learn to pray, listen, and then confidently watch the world around me knowing that my God is sovereign. He won't forget about this little girl!

The second, and most powerful thing for me was Margaret's label for listening: an art. It truly is a skill that you fumble around with at first. Maybe you don't always capture the correct vision. Quite possibly you'll fail more than you'll succeed in the beginning. But when a follower of Christ begins to practice listening to God, he or she will slowly begin to hear and confidently obey (step two of this whole listening thing) their Father. Isn't it a complex and beautiful thing, conversing with Maker of everything wondrous?! Who are we, that He would even take notice of our plees? We are joint heirs with Christ and ever thankful for the grace He bestows!

The Word IS Beautiful

In our attempts to draw on the u saved, today's Western Church has spent a large percentage of their resources on presentation. I don't mean presentation in an evangelistic sense. I'm talking about aesthetics, promotion and other additional elements to preaching the Word.

As the years go by, the amount of money spent on such things has grown and continues to grow like crazy. I'm very alarmed by the results of these efforts. The number of Bible-believing Christians in American is plummeting. I took broadly accepted statistics on the success rate of youth ministry and applied it to the city I live in. In our town of 60,000 people, based on the number of students in youth groups at evangelical churches: we will statistically only make a lifelong change in the lives of fifty of them, at most.

What happens when this generation of young people are the parents, community leaders and the ones responsible for the religious beliefs of the following generation? Even if there are one hundred people in that generation that believe and try to pass the Gogspel on to their kids, what will this city look like in several decades. Frightening.

My point is, obiously dressing up the the Word of God doesn't work; neither does dulling it down or fluffing it up.

I will not settle for spreading less than the True Word which is as sharp as any two edged sword. I feel uncomfortable at the thought of being responsible for trying to reach a generation with lights, a rock-band worship team that sings poetic but unmeaningful words and trendy graphics. I dread the thought of telling Him at His throne, "but I attracted hundreds of kids to the church building." Only to hear His answer, "but how many of them received My grace?" When I stand before my Judge, I long to see a row of my purple-haired peeps there with me and hear, "Well done."

In the scope of eternity, I cannot help but challenge people, including myself, to drop the act. In the book of Acts, the Lord added to their numbers. Can we please, I beg you, begin to truly rely on the Spirit to guide our steps in furthering the Kingdom?

Mondays With Margaret

Among the blogs I read, I see a lot of Day of the Week themed blogs...so being that it's Monday and I was perusing Margaret Feinberg's site, I decided to join the trend. Here goes!

I recently stumbled upon the word, Nonversation, meaning “the communication between two men”. I chuckled when read the definition, but realized that nonversations aren’t limited by gender. I have a lot of nonversations in my own life.
Nonversations happen when we talk about everything except the real issue we need to discuss.
Nonversations happen when we allow the weather, daily headlines, and the topics we discuss to circle around us and never really touch who or where we really are.
Nonversations happen when we don’t take time to develop insightful questions that pull, tug, and play.
Nonversations can easily become part of lives as we learn to talk about many things without really talking about anything at all. While not every conversation needs to be deep, meaningful, or challenging, I know that I can be more intentional about my words and what I communicate–discussing things that are both meaningful and delightful.

-From Margaret Feinberg's blog

I just returned from Haiti yesterday. Reading this I immediately felt like I had an outside perspective on nonversations. I know a week and a half away doesn't exactly make me an outsider, but I noticed nonversations as soon as I got home. Immediately after claiming our baggage, somebody asked about our t-shirts. As Nic explained what we'd been doing in Haiti, it became obvious that they were also Christians. Instead of talking seriously about God's magnificent doings though, we proceeded through a question and answer version of small talk. Instead of interjecting the things they probably needed to hear to take the mission field at home and abroad seriously, I spewed fluff. I stood there, anxious to get home, and wondered "what is the point of this conversation?"

I have never been a fan of nonversations. I have always said I "break" personality quizes because they don't knowhow to describe someone who loves visiting with people but hates small talk. It actually makes me extremely uncomfortable. Nic has to nearly tie me down for me to make it through "greeting time" at church without running away to the bathroom or to get coffee.I would set down with anyone for a cup of coffee so I can see how they truly are and have a real conversation.

In Haiti, it was not unusual for someone to introduce themselves and then outright ask, "Do you love Jesus?" People also frequently told us exactly what they were thinking. They weren't being rude, but any small talk would have been a waste of time. They did talk about less serious things quite frequently. But the point of such things has always been personal relationships. The pastor of the church I attended there has brought 8 Voodoo priests and witch doctors to know the Living God in the last 6 months. Do you think these transformations happened through a serious of nonversations?

I don't think so. And while I don't have an abundance of Voodoo priests in my community, I would venture to say that if we probed deeper into potentially meaningful conversations, we would see those kinds of transformations in our friends and family. If you don't have unsaved friends and family, then stop having nonversations amd get some new friends!

Jesus Was Culturally Relevant

Everyone wants everyone else to do church their way. If this weren't the case, we wouldn't have thousands upon thousands of denominations within the Christian church. There are divisions and subgroups within those denominations. Young people wouldn't be running off and planting unbalanced churches because the elders don't disciple or even seem to care about them and old churches wouldn't be dying off because they refuse to change the changeables to relate to the culture. We wouldn't have five churches on one block and still have unchurched, de-churched and hungry people across the street.

Doesn't anyone want to do church Jesus' way? As the Christ, Jesus was able to prune the functions of the church while He was on earth. I think He addressed each group's habits with one of three attitudes.

The first is toward those with a lazy form of religion that I like to call Checkmark Christanity. Because of the religious leaders of the time (which I address in the second category) many followers became adjusted to simply checking the requirements of being a good Jew off of their list. Giving? Check. Attending? Check. Eating correctly? Check. Cleanliness? Check. I see Checkmark Christians everywhere I look. This is why people shop for a church like it's their Friday night movie. Does it look good? Does it have people I'm attracted to in it? Will I feel good when I walk out? Will I get home at a reasonable hour? Will my kids like it? How much is it going to cost me? Are there food and drinks available? It's because they just need to check church off their list and they want it to be comfortable. Checkmark Christians want to pull up to the window to be served their God for the week so they can go back to their busy lives and give up as little of their time and energy as possible. A prime Bilical example is that if the Rich Ruler. In Luke 18 he asks Jesus what he needs to do to inherit eternal life. After establishing that he has a check in all of the boxes, Jesus asks him to make a sacrifice a show people some love. Unfortunately he is sad and unwilling. He was raised as a Checkmark Jew and the transition, or transformation rather into authentic Christian is to much for him.

The second addresses laws that God the Father had set up for good reasons, but leaders had elaborated on them and over prioritized them to a point of making the rules themselves a religion. 'And He said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it:You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets."' You can spot these overzealous modern day Pharisees most often doing great things. These people get anxious because in their pride they rely on themselves and their gifts to grow God's kingdom, and they're right! They can't do it! You'll find them frequently looking at attendance in their services and groups because they must "measure success". They have the hardest time relying on the grace of God and trusting for future grace! Pharisees however, are great accountability partners: they never let anyone get away with anything. Another way rules religiosity surfaces is through an unwillingness to separate the changeables from the non-negotiables. Compromise is not and should not be an option in areas that deal with Truth. Unfortunately, like the original pharisees, many of today's church members get stuck on how things are supposed to be done simply because that's the way it's been. Jesus Himself managed to be culturally relevant and we know He didn't distort the Word. Why can't today's leaders imitate that?! This encompasses a good portion of today's leaders and "devout" Christians. Sadly they breed a good number of baby Pharisees and even more Checkmark Christians who've been taught to just keep the overzealous "rules people" happy. When I struggle, I admit it's in this direction. I guess I'm one of those lucky people who had my fair share of influence by Pharisees. My frustration is always directed, however, at other Pharisees.

I think the third group and habit that Jesus addressed was the group who loved God and tried to do religion right but in their humanity still needed some guidance. Jesus' disciples had to grow in many areas: shame, pride, materialism, forgiveness and faith; just to name a few. "Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

No matter how we approach living out our faith, we'll never "do church" perfectly. But we put ourselves in a good spot when we remain humble and teachable. This way when the Spirit speaks to us, we are free to follow no matter what He asks. As long as we are loving God with all of our hearts, souls, minds and strength and loving our neighbor as ourselves, we can be confident that we are following the Law! Do church the way God asks you to. Hold to the Scriptures and then don't worry about anything else!